Athletically aging ungracefully

23 02 2013

Reflection:- i don’t know if you will understand. For me to exude self esteem and self confidence I have to pull it from as deep as my gut. It is not like as early as a couple of years ago when those two behaviors used to pore out of me like sweat on a humid day. These days I literally work extremely hard to feel that they are a part of me. You see, the reason is very simple it is called aging the way of the female especially where you have always taken for granted certain elements in your life. You try not to take the reflection in the mirror too personal and you try not to dramatize the stare of a brother who is more than half your age into a number issue. You try to keep it together by pretending to yourself daily that it isn’t what it is. So you develop the exterior similar to the shell of a turtle, the result you cannot distinguish yourself from the devil who wears Prada!

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What you see is what you get

22 02 2013

Even if I have suspicion that I get too attached to people and I am accused of loving too much or proclaimed to put faith in people before really analyzing their worthiness as some say, I would rather let my heart break because I have felt a moving love and humble compassion from someone. I would rather hear a homeless person say, “God bless you” to me. I would rather be a positive contributor to your climb out of a difficult situation. I would rather run the race with you next to me only giving in when God removes you into wonderful glory. I would rather say I knew you as you were and I still knew you in your elevation. I would rather you left knowing deep down in your heart you knew that I honestly truly heart breakingly cared enough to secure your stability and that I did it only for the glory of God! I am who I am and what you see is what you get and it doesn’t get any better than this but God loves me!